Monday, January 3, 2011



When you have a child with a degenerative condition, memories are a funny thing. Depending on any number of factors, they have the power to make you smile or cut like a knife. Sometimes they do both and you find yourself looking through a window to the past with a smile on your face and tears streaming down your cheeks.

Tatyanna was always perceptive, eager to help and always wanting everyone around her to be happy. Knowing that her mom was a coffee junkie (although I think afficiondo has a much nicer ring) she would drag a chair over to the coffee pot and fill up a mug full of what was often yesterday's brew. Once the cup had reached a level that could only be described as precarious, she would carefully carry it over to wherever I happened to be.

"This you foffee mommy."

These were her words every time, said in her chirpy little voice and always followed by a slightly more emphatic,

"you like it!"

She would then stand there, brown eyes expectant, and watch while I choked back a sip or two of the cold sludge. I never had the heart to say anything. Now, it's rare that a day goes by without either Trent or I offering the other a cup of joe without saying,

"here's you like it."

Perhaps it's just our way of hanging to the girl we once knew... because forgetting is something that truly scares me.


  1. Oh wow. I am so glad to find you through the CLickin' Moms site. My daughter had medical needs, and people all over the world prayed for her healing. Even just last week I met a woman who stated that she recognized Mercy because she had been praying for her for years.

    I just say that to tell you that I will pray for you and for Tatyanna. May God bless you in this time. I look forward to knowing you better through this year.

  2. Beautiful blog, beautiful stories, and a beautiful family!

  3. This is such a meaningful post. It made me think is good to share our stories and sorrows. The ways are varied that parents can lose children. No one is ever in a place where we can be sure everything will be ok. I hope that you will have peace, and know that others care about your beautiful girl and your situation. I hope you will be strengthened to carry your burdens. Thanks for sharing here on your blog.

  4. Oh- what a precious memory. Sweet, sweet girl.

  5. Wow, just glancing through the 13 pictures since the New Year. Tears were pricking my eyes as I saw the joy and love in your home. I too will pray for your beautiful little girl(s).
    (Found you thru FiveStarFriday.)